Firstly, I apologise for not really posting much at all this week, we had the funeral for my Uncle on Wednesday and although I didn't go for work/animal reasons (we have fussy chickens/cats/guinea pigs that needed looking after....this meant 6am wake up calls just to feed the chickens!) it's been a pretty blah week, which has meant I've not really been in the mood for blogging.....plus I lost my camera cable AGAIN! So even if I had wanted to blog, I couldn't! (I did have a draft post to blog yesterday though so it wasn't quite such a barren week...) I have a habit of taking pictures on my camera, destroying whatever I've taken pictures of and then realising that my cable it MIA and that I should've done back up pictures on my phone. Epic fail! Haha! Anyway, on with the pros and cons...
- So I've not said anything about this on here due to wanting to do the right thing and obviously tell my manager about it first but......I have one week left at Benefit before heading over to a new counter of Bare Minerals (which is literally 10 paces away from the Benefit counter that I work on now....shouldn't be too awkward right?! Hopefully regular customers won't get too confused/angry! Haha!) It's still only part-time but it is more hours (well....one more hour...) and it pays more because I will be the counter manager! Always nice to put on my CV! I'll be getting a call from my new area manager on Monday to discuss start date/training dates etc but she wants me to start ASAP. I'm so excited!! I have a few issues with Benefit make-up (I have really quite sensitive skin with some stuff) as it was the cause of my "herpes hand" (See here towards the end for gross picture of what it looked like to start off with...) and having to put it on my hand to show people every few days just causes flare ups really. It's no where near as bad as it used to be but it's now just sort of dry skin basically...mmm....lovely! Anyway, I'll be happy to not be putting products on my skin that don't agree with me, although this may be pre-emptive because I've never actually used Bare Minerals so maybe I'll be allergic to that too?! Fingers crossed that I won't be please! Anyway, I'm more excited about being in charge of my very own brand new shiny counter! I'm a bit nervous too because I have all the responsibility for the counter so if it doesn't make money it's on me and me alone....so not too much pressure! Haha! To be honest, the unmanned stand at the moment always makes money anyway so with a nice shiny new counter with me on it to help customers out, well....hopefully it'll make more money!
- Another thing I've not really spoken about either is the fact that I'm going to move in with a friend of mine next week! (hopefully, depending on furniture!) I've started packing (one box...) and it's so stressful! I have WAY too much stuff!! So many books and dvds and nail polishes!! Ugh. Anyway, her house is right near my work....as in I can just roll out of bed and into work in 5 minutes (obviously not literally roll...I think that would hurt a lot...) I'm really excited about this because a) it means I don't have to keep relying on my parents for lifts everywhere b) it's so close to work I really don't need to worry about being late ever again! and c) it'll be nice to have some independence again. I do sometimes feel like a bit of a burden/like I'm still 15 because I still live at home and have all my stuff in one room. I know this isn't the case and it's actually very difficult for young people to move out these days but I'm just really looking forward to having my own space really and I'm very lucky to have a friend who is willing to give such a good deal on rent/bills (like REALLY good deal!) I'm really excited yet nervous but I know there'll always be a room for me at home if I need it (until my Mum turns it into a craft room or my Dad turns it into a model train room....so there'll be a room for me until a week after I move out! Haha!)
- I've had some really successful nail art experiments this week. I'm usually not proud of anything I do (it's a weird thing I know but compliments make me feel awkward....) but I was so happy with how the Penguin nails turned out that I was showing them off to everyone! I did Panda nails the day after and I literally let out a "squeeee!!" of delight! I will post those pictures when I find my damn camera cable!! I also need to buy a false nail wheel thingy from eBay so that I can do step by step pictures as I never remember to do these when I'm actually doing my nails and I feel like these might be helpful for you guys if you fancy having a go at the design yourselves! I also made a cheeky BuyaPowa purchase with some paypal money and brought some Urban Decay polishes....they are so beautiful!!! I have been wearing "Hot Mess" for 3 days now which is practically unheard of for me! Again, post when I can find that damn cable!
- Having had a tough few weeks, I've been really cheered up by the comments on my blog from you guys. They seriously do make me do a smile when I see that someone has taken the time to actually write something on one of my posts (I'm guilty of reading a post, liking it and then failing to comment for some reason!) and it's always really nice to read nice comments from you all :) So I'd just like to say a big thank you for those that comment and also thanks to anyone that even takes the time to read my little (well....fairly epic...) posts :)
- I know it's an odd pro but I'm pretty proud of myself for this one (and I know, I know, I shouldn't do it in the first place but still...) I haven't self harmed at all over the last 2 weeks. I know 2 weeks might not seem like a lot but considering how stressed out/upset I've been, that's pretty good going for me! I have, however, been fake tanning almost every day....so maybe that's replacing it?? I won't have scars anymore but I will be orange..... (Bad jokes help me cope with my stress!)
- As I said above, it was my Uncle's funeral this week. Despite not going, as I was on animal duty, I was fairly stressed out and quiet on the day. I'm pretty glad I didn't have to work that day to be honest. I was more stressed out because I knew my Mum was having a pretty bad time with it all, so I was worried about her. She's still pretty upset about it all and I had to force her not to go to work today because she just looked, well....a bit haggard. I don't mean that in a bad way but she just hasn't slept properly (apparently the travel lodge they stayed in either had rock hard mattresses or SUPER soft ones. Not very helpful..) and I think it pretty much all caught up with her today. She works at a local garden centre and I told my Dad to pop down there after dropping me off to let them know she wouldn't be in. There was the whole "But I feel really guilty" but apparently they were really loevly about it and said that they didn't really expect her in this weekend anyway! So she's taking tomorrow off too in order to try and fully catch up on sleep/recover slightly. Suicide is never an easy thing to cope with but I think she's remembering the stress of what happened last time a brother killed himself and it's just making those memories resurface, which is never a fun time. I'm trying to keep her smiling with bad jokes and stories about what happened with the animals whilst she was away (one broody chicken ended up chasing one of the cats up the garden - cue epic fluffed up tail from the cat and me crying with laughter!) Hopefully she'll be able to get through this with the families help and that she won't feel quite so down for long. I really do worry you know!
- I found out something pretty bad about one of my friends this week, which has made my friendship with her pretty strained I think. I'm not super best friends with her but it was one of those things that kind of makes you re-think your friendship with someone. I've become quite harsh with my friends list over the last few years after realising that, whilst it's ok for everyone to have a moan (my god I LOVE complaining!! Haha!) every now and then, it's not ok for them to moan about the same thing every damn time you see them and then ask your advice and then just ignore it and repeat those steps every single time you see them. I find this kind of friendship drags me down and makes me feel fairly depressed about seeing that person. I have, in the past, dropped a few friends for this reason (and other reasons) because I don't believe in being friends with people you basically don't like to hang out with very much. I'm very good at being civil and polite to people but if I don't like them enough to properly hang out with them....then I won't. I'm also quite honest about these things too. My opinion is very much a "if you don't like me, then that's fine. Just don't try to fake it!" I really hate fake people! Very annoying. Anyway, yes so I found out this bad thing and now I really don't see us being great friends really. It's kind of sad but I'm not comfortable being friends with someone like that so that's pretty much it. I'm aware this whole paragraph probably makes me seem like a cold hearted bitch! Haha!
- The other incident that happened last time I did a Sunday Roundup seems to have blown over. I've had no apology or anything but I guess that's pretty much a non-thing now, but I'm still a little annoyed about it. I know I shouldn't be but I can't help it. I guess I'll see how it goes when I next see Mr Who Knows but I don't see this going on for long really. I get too frustrated with the fact that everything seems to be my fault all the time because I'm...you know...mental. I know I sound like a broken record (what was that I said above about complaining about the same thing all the time?! What a hypocrite! Haha!) but this is my blog and I'll vent if I want to! Haha! I'm just annoyed that there was no lee-way given what-so-ever considering how bad my week had been. I know it's not an excuse and I shouldn't have said those things quite how I did, but those feelings have been building for so long now and I just kind of verbally exploded! Anyway, I apologised but I feel like I'm owed at last a small apology you know? Maybe I'm asking too much and I should just let it go but I'm a thinker and I tend to over-analyse stuff too.....it's not always a good thing! Anyway, I'll see what happens I guess...
So that's my pros and cons list. Sorry that the cons are pretty much just an epic set of downers again this week. I hope they don't make your Sunday depressing in any way! I've had a few people before email/comment about my depression and I'd like to just put it out there that if you ever want to get in contact/vent to a stranger then feel free to email me. I know that sometimes it can be hard to talk about your feelings with people who are close to you, so venting to someone who is completely removed from the situation can be very helpful and can help you to see the situation with a fresh set of eyes. I don't claim to be of any use at all and am certainly not a therapist (although I have seen many....does that count??) but if any of you ever want to vent/ask questions etc then don't hesitate to email me :) (I'd like to point out that I find it quite easy to vent on the internet.....in real life, I epically suck at talking about my feelings. I pretty much say something sincere, get annoyed with myself for showing emotion and then either berate myself or make bad jokes to ease the tension that I feel I've created...just so you don't go thinking that I'm any good at talking about this sort of stuff in real life! Haha!)
How are you guys this week? Any big pros or cons? Any advice/favourite products from Bare Minerals??? (I need all the help I can get!)
Until next time,